you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
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