so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
