I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
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