i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
I would ride that face into the sunset
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Randomize
