Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
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