It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
