the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
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