Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
the liver wants what the liver wants
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
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