I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize
