BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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