Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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