you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Randomize
