Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Randomize
