don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
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