You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
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