Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
