dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
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