yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
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