So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
