Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
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