I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
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