I'd wear matching sweaters with you
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize