Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
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