so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
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