What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
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