new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
Randomize
