You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize