Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Randomize