oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
We need to rekindle our bromance
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
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