I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
