the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
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I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
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When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
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