Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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