i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
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