When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
there is glitter all over my balls
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
