Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
Randomize
