PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
Randomize
