omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
Is it because I queefed?
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
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