When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
Ketchup is God's man juice
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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