You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
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You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
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Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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