I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
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