please come you make the beer taste better
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
Randomize
