I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
Randomize
