Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
Randomize
