Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
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