My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Randomize
