Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Randomize
