Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
We left the knife in your bed.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
