sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
meet me or not, i'm out of control
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize
