someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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