went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
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