is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
Randomize
