I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
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Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
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I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
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