her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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