Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
he fucked my hip out of place.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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