I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
Randomize
