today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
