I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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