Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Randomize
