Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Randomize
