if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
Randomize
