didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
Randomize
