If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
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